Becomes stupid

I do believe life is not too hard for us to face
I do believe love is not only gives but accept at the same time
and I do believe life is meaningless without love
Love with family of course it exist until death
Love with friends who always be there to cheer up us
but how about love for someone who are not deserve?

the deserve one is only for our husband
the only husband
but he is not muhrim to me and I can't fall in love too much
I can't control my feeling
I can't show how much I love him
Please don't do this to me
It hurts me a lot

Ya Rabb,
If he is not for me as what You have written in Your Luh Mahfuz
If he is not my destiny
If he is not become my chemistry
Please take away of my feeling on him
Please show me that I've falling in love with the wrong person
I can't pray for him to miss me because we doesn't have legal bond anyway
I can't pray for he become my destiny because who am I to pray something bigger as I know I'm full of sins
What I can pray for is take my love away.
Take it back ya Allah
It's really hurts me until I can't do anything to defend myself
I'm becomes stupid.
I'm becomes stupid just because of love
I'm sorry ya Allah, I'm sorry