Sunday, December 27, 2015

Written at the dark room

Hi readers.

Yeah, I know I'm lost for a long time. I'm running away to seek for the light I've never seen. If you see me right now, I might change a little bit of myself. I don't like myself before who is struggling for nothing. just wish from the deep of heart without taking any action to make it realize.

I'm different. totally different though there is some of my weaknesses I can't move away.

I'm turning to 25 sooner and yet I'm still at the first page of my life. maybe I'm on second page since I'm a working person now but the past still follow my journey.


4 letters which haunted me well in my life progress to became an adult. Yeah, I'm a little bit scared because of my friends are now become queen in someone king's heart. to see hows they so much happy to get married early, seems nothing would happen in future. Is it married can guarantee us that love will always be there when we need it the most? or it just need to prevent us from doing bad to our partner. this is not what I want.

I'm not too much desperate to get some kind of lovey-dovey things but the love I want should derived from both side's heart. Responsibility should be at the first stage. I don't know how to explain in words or in writing, but if I want to get married soon, none of my family's money be used for my wedding ceremony. NO. I'm not allowed. maybe that's why certain man I meet said I'm too much independent. I'm too much putting my self on something I'm  not capable to do so.

No. you not put your feet on my shoes so, you will never know.

One day, if the person come, I will tell him, I met a lot of people before you. they taught me how to love and be loved. they taught me how to loath and feeling missing and they taught me everything colors of feelings before I met you.

Its funny to think that now, I imagine how will you looks alike. I better off now. gonna see you in DreamLand dear. :)