Nota Diri

Vian,
Hidup ini perlukan pengorbanan
Kalau kau nak hasil yang hebat
Pengorbanan kau juga mesti hebat
Kejayaan tidak datang bergolek-golek
Nak hadiah, mesti beradu
Nak senang, mesti sakit
Kalau kau ada benda yang kau mahu dari Allah
kau jangan malas-malas usaha dan berdoa
Benda yang kau tak minta pun Allah bagi
Inikan lagi benda yang kau minta bersungguh-sungguh
Mulut tiap hari keluh, "kalaulah..."
Jiwa setiap hari berbisik, "harap-haraplah.."
mana cukup.

Vian,
Mata kau pernah lebih bengkak dari ini
Tulang kau pernah lebih patah dari ini

Ayuh..

Kita hidup bukan untuk diri kita sendiri
Kita hidup untuk mak ayah kita

stay alive please..

My busy November

This busy November makes me unstoppable sleep at 3 in the morning. I have seven presentations and three test not includes quiz, oral test, writing report, annual general meeting and so forth. Then on weekend, I'm work. oh my, I'm really stuck.

and this November also the rainy month.

It is cold, calm and romantic as well to make me sleep in a deep dream till I can't wake up in the early morning.

Makes me suddenly fall in love

How I miss that feeling

My day's swift so fast and I can barely understand why I am here linger for the best thing I suppose to have..

Dear You

Dear You,

Bring me into your world and I'll show you mine. :)

Vivianne Zala

I'm flawed

Ceritera hariku

Salam readers.

What can I tell you olls is I'm happy today. hehe. as usual I'm alone in this huge hostel but really something got into me today and it makes me smile for the whole day. smile, smile and smile and I'm going to crazyyyy.. hehe.

Actually, hari nie aku naik motor and you know what? aku just duduk kat belakang jak yang pandu tue kawan ku. kikiki. yang buat aku happy sangat tue aku nampak banyak lampu-lampu sepanjang perjalanan. I thought I've seen heaven. seriously memang cantik. saya jatuh cinta. sepanjang perjalanan tue aku just dengar satu lagu jak, No no no by APink. terasa perasaan ini seronok sangat.

And aku pecah rekod taw hari nie. aku pegang haiwan berbulu macam tupai. I don't know what kind of animal it was tapi dia macam tupai cuma dia boleh terbang. tupai terbang kalik. oh nama dia Suar Glider geli betul tapi aku tahan jak because it is fun. yupp it was fun. next animal is snake. oh please, di bagi sejuta baru mungkin aku maw pegang. hahaha.

Muka macam kesukaan padahal dalam hati "cepatlah kau turun". haha.

dan dan dan, saya jumpa jualan murah hari nie. memang paling seronoklah buat si Vian. haha. aku beli sweater Running Man taw. teda kuning so aku beli merah. actually, there is a lot of event that makes me happy today but there is something that I can't share with. malulah awak. hihihi.

Ada lagi satu cerita. Ini when my friends and I went to Ulu Selangor recently. adakah patut seorang abang-abang tue dia cakap begini ar sama aku.

Abang : Okey tak dengan cuaca di Malaysia?

Aku : Okey, kenapa? (buat muka pelik)

Abang : Manataw awak tak selesa dengan cuaca di Malaysia. kan bukannya sama cuaca di Malaysia dengan Indonesia. muka awak dha merah.

Aku : Kenapa dengan Indonesia?

Abang : Awak bukan dari Indon?

Aku : tak la saya orang Malaysia juga, dari Sabah

Abang : Ingatkan awak orang Indon sebab muka awak merah jambu

Aku : smile and run

then, aku pun berlalu pergi dengan hati yang panas. of course muka aku merah because of 3 things. first, sebab aku kepanasan. aku duduk dalam aircon tetiba keluar ke tempat panas and of course mukaku tetiba merah. second, aku sensitif klu orang cakap mukaku merah because tetiba jak tue muka ku panas and it will turn to red. bila dia cakap macam tue tambah merah lah mukaku. and last is because I'm so tired. bila kerja berlambak time tue and my face will be the Red Hulk. seriously. aku pun ndak taw kenapa.

After all, is it I'm looks like an Indonesian? heyy, my mom Philipinos okey.

When the toilet become a good place to take a picture. 

Some of my pictures were corrupted and I can't upload but these two pictures are the only the best among the best that I can safe. by then, I will continue with another story.

Salam.

Aku yang bersendiri

By : L I T T L E P H O T O

Hari ini hari selasa
Hari yang sangat bermakna buat kaum muslimin
ia Hari Raya Korban
dan di sini aku sekali lagi bersendirian beraya di perantauan

Bangun seawal 10 pagi
itupun ditelepon oleh mak sebab maw cakap beliau makan daging
pagi-pagi mak suda buat diri ini terasa terkilan
ndak pa mak, saya maafkan

Untuk menghilangkan sebaknya di hari raya ini
radio menjadi peneman
tapi tiba di satu saat takbir bergema di siaran
MasyaAllah, lagilah rasa terkilan
perkataan yang mampu di ucap hanyalah
"Its okey, you've experienced how to be alone"

Kemudian, diri ini pergilah memasak
masak mee sup
disebabkan diri ini tidaklah terror masak
mee sup jadi lembik dan hancur macam bukan rupa mee
dan mulailah bermonolog
"Its okey, it is for the first time"
yupp, saya masak mee sup untuk pertama kalinya :)

Sesudah makan, movie menjadi santapan
nonton dua movie kemudian baca buku di anjung asrama
buku yang bertajuk "Kompas Umat Akhir Zaman"
Keinsafan pun muncul

Masuk ke bilik sebelum maghrib
kemudian masak telur dan ikan sardin
makan, makan, makan
kemudian online Facebook dan Tumblr

Buku International Business di ambil dan di baca
kiranya aku belajarlah

Tik tok tik tok tik tok
masa berlalu dengan pantas
dan sekarang jam menunjukkan pukul 3 pagi
aku buka Blog dan aku buat entry
"Aku yang Bersendiri"
Yupp, hari ini aku bersendiri dan sendiri

Don't worry, I've a lot of things I can do when I'm alone but I'm a girl and surely I'm afraid to be alone in this huge place. Hopefully, tomorrow my day is more better than yesterday.

I gotta new life

Salam readers

I'm a little bit tried now but here I'm want to share something. since I've mood to write something then story telling might help me to reduce my tiredness perhaps. huhu. you see, I become a part time worker at pizza. almost 3 weeks I worked and this is my first time to work like a crazy people. I never feel so tired like this before and it makes me cry. seriously I've cried at the first day because I'm tired. that's all. I'm just tired. after a few days, then I realized that work are so fun. my friends are so happening and they like to jester.

Now, I'm happy with my work and I love it. I just love the experiences. okay people, thats all for today because Running Man is waiting for me. hehe. so here I left you with a music. I like the lyrics and the music of course. sometimes music could be our story and heal our sorrow but this music gives a lot of inspiration. here some of them..

I gotta new life,
You would hardly recognize me,
I'm so glad,
How could a person like me care for you,
Why do I bother when you're not the one for me,
Is enough enough,

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes,
and I am happy now living without you,
I've left you all alone
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
(I saw the sign I saw the sign)
I saw the sign
(I saw the sign I saw the sign)
I saw the sign

The sign by The Barden Bellas in Pitch Perfect

#Yup, I saw the sign and I'm not regret. 

Maybe

You've got magic inside your finger tips
Its leaking out all over my skin
Everytime that I get close to you
Your making me weak with the way you
Look through those eyes

But all I see is your face
All I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips
Come at me from up above

Yeah, oh I need you

I remember the way that you move
Your dancing easily through my dreams
Its hittin me harder and harder with all your smiles
You are crazy gentle in the way you kiss

Oh baby I need you
To see me, the way I see you
Lovely, wide awake in
The middle of my dreams

All I see is your face
All I need is your touch
Wake me up with your lips
Come at me from up above
Yeah, oh oh da da da do do do do do
Ah, I ..... I need you

Maybe by Colbie Caillat

Maybe there is an unforeseen love..

Thinking about you

Sometimes I wonder, if we think out about someone are they think about us too?

Life seems so hard,
When you lose certain part of it...

Menuju ke Jannah

Salam readers.

I just watched Lord of the Rings and now I couldn't sleep. Malas nak berbahasa orang putih hari ini tapi I'll using mix language. tangan terasa gatal nak buat entry sebab aku terjumpa kata-kata spesel selepas nonton cerita tue. the story a litttle bit scary sebab penjahat dia mata satu macam Dajjal tapi ia banyak menceritakan tentang kehidupan. Never give up that is the most.

"Ada sesetengah perkara tidak dapat disembuhkan oleh masa"

Betulkah ada sesuatu perkara yang tak dapat disembuhkan oleh masa even it takes many years but the pain still not cure. memang ada. kenapa ada? sebab hati masih berdendam. hati masih terasa sakitnya. hati masi terasa kenangan terindah dahulunya.

"Di dunia ini kita semua ada pilihan samada awak nak berfikiran positif ataupun sebaliknya "

Yupp, I believe on this statement. kita kena berfikiran positif dan bersangka baik tapi ada sesuatu yang merunsingkan, mampukah aku bersangka baik di kala aku tahu pengakhirannya adalah menyakitkan? kita sudah tahu perangai dia tapi kita diamkan diri sebab bagi kita masa akan membuka segalanya tapi kita lupa yang usaha itu kena ada

"Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang itu jika dia tidak mengubahnya terlebih dahulu"

I really want to go to the 'heaven' place where I'm standing in the middle of millions of morning glory flower with the breeze of wind blow my shawl and dress and take a long breath of the fresh air while in front of me a beautiful waterfall and I see it  from the top of the hill or mountain. there so many balloons there and my Pink Yellow Vespa rest under the huge tree. sungguh kedamaian itu susah untuk diungkap kerna ia kena dirasai.

You see, aku tak suka when we have a lot of adventure with him or her but suddenly he or she said goodbye to us. pengembaraan itu mengubah kita lebih menghargai orang sekeliling, ubah kita jadi kuat jiwa dan hati tapi tetiba di tinggalkan dengan kata, "It's time to leave". aku dah banyak kali jumpa perkataan nie dalam banyak-banyak muvie. The Nanny McPhee, Peter Pan, Lord of the Rings. semuanya berakhir dengan perpisahan. actually that was happy ending tapi cara mereka pergi tue buat aku rasa sedih even dalam cerita tue mereka sebenarnya senyum.

Ermm, saya menjadi semakin complicated. huhu. maksudku sini cara mereka pergi tue macam mereka ada lagi journey di sana but it is without us and without me  of course. hehe. macam cerita Lord of the Rings tadi, Frodo tinggalkan kawan-kawan dia dengan menaiki kapal yang menuju ke sesuatu cahaya di hujung lautan. dalam nanny McPhee dia tinggalkan kanak-kanak tue dengan menaiki tnagga ke arah cahaya. kenapa mesti cahaya? aku macam maw masuk jak tapi tak dapat ikut. dapat bayangkan tak? I know you can't sebab aku boleh rasa aku mula melalut, cakap semberono and aku pun tak tahu nak express macam mana.

After all, aku nak sangat ke tempat paling nyaman di dunia nie. run from the miserable problems, lupakan dunia, lupakan perancangan masa depan. hanya tahu dekatkan diri dengan alam dan fikirkan the present time. I hope it will become true someday. I hope..