29 December

Salam readers,

Woww, it's a quite a long time for my hands not lying to write any new entry in this super lovely-duvey blog. You see, I've got a job now and surely actually I do not know exactly what my position are and what are the specific works that I need to do. Its looks like my works are general.

But, I love this job because I learn sooo much. seriously.

I met all people. We went to Tawau before, then Lahad Datu and now here I am in Best Western Hotel, Sandakan. The job is quite tough and really tiring but there is something that uneasily to be explained, something that encourage me to stay even I know there are limitation for me since my boss is a non muslim. He is a Chinese man but I don't know why, from his experiences that he had told me about it, it makes me feel different. I'm starting to say to myself, "Yup Vian, you gonna make your life so sweeeet". 

He asked me to read old books, "Who Moved My Cheese" and "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". I'm gonna read it tonight after I finished this entry. Tomorrow morning, we back to Kota Kinabalu, and my life still have a journey to be conquered. A nervous journey perhaps.

I've changed my blog's song too. The Heaven Way by Yiruma. Is it lovely?

I've nothing much words to say, but I'm really happy right now. Hope this job could bring me far away from the conservative environment and I'm gonna prove to them that I can be 1% people instead of being 99% people those having a narrow minds.

Being work in private sector does not mean you're stupid enough as a degree holder and didn't get any job in government sector. I'll prove, though I'm working hardly I'm still able to give my mom a key.

A Key of House. A Key of Car.

I'm not materialistic anyway but I just want to ensure all the needs are being fulfilled and there's no term of 'not enough money'. I will change my family's life. I will, someday.

And one more thing, my boss asked me to take MBA after 3 years work with him. Woww, I'm gonna take it someday. Fhaviana getting take Master in Business Administration.
InsyaAllah. Just  pray for me okay.

The time is getting old now and its time to read books. Before that, here's the note to the Greatest, My Allah.


__________________________


Dear My Allah,

I know this is the fate that You had state for me
What I need now is just need to face them all
I need to be brave, patient, and give full commitment and of course be grateful

There is a reason behind everything happen, right my Rabb?
I know there was but I don't know what it is

Your story for me are really surprising
I'm sorry if sometimes I'm questioning, "why"
Because I'm weak ya Allah
I'm useless

Ya Rabb,
I'm really hope this journey not just make me close to You
but my family at the same time
I love them so much
They're the only that I have in this Dunya
and I really hope You may care of them for me
please..

I'm sorry ya Rabb,
I'm sorry.
Please apologize me for every sins that I've done.
I'm sorry

Amin.

An evening at home

Love. Husband. Married.

Just after I finished my study, this freaking stuffs haunted me very well. My aunt and even my neighbours keep questioning when the day will come.

Do I look like someone who is getting married just after I took a degree?

I'm struggling for 4 years and a half I guess to finish my diploma and degree and sooner be a woman called 'surirumah'?

This is ridiculous.

Yup,
I admit I need someone instead of my family.
But, I think the time is still not be there for me.
There still have a lot of journey waiting to be explore.
So much dreams still not be realize.

Now,
I really wish I could find something that I will remember till die.
Something makes me close to the beautiful nature.

Trees. blue sky. daisies. softly wind. chirping bird.

Oh dear,
How I wish that awesome view and feeling.
I wish I can find that lost beautiful forest.
It will happen someday.
:)

Note to the Greatest

Salam readers,

It's a quite tough day today. I cry all day and it still.
I'm sad.

Seriously I'm afraid to think my journey.
I'm afraid.

_______________________________

Dear Allah,
Please, please look at me.
I don't have anyone to put me in safe.
Your test is quite hard.
I'm sorry.

I shame to myself who has full of sins and try begging something big from You
I feel I'm disguisting
But Allah,
I've no place to go except You.

I'm sorry.

Confuse

Hi readers,

I'm currently struggling with patient and contentment. I tend to want everything NOW and I want everything happen exactly as what I've planned.

But I know this is not an easy thing like I thought.

Oh life,
How I want to change the conservative's mind especially the old folks thought?

This is terrible.

Sharing Dreams

Hello readers,

I'm not getting too much emotional today but I'm going to take challenge. challenge? yup. actually I'm following one of blogger and she is my favourite blogger. I took the challenge from her blog. why I love to stalk her blog? because she has dreams same as me and I really love how's she story to all. its like I can feel it.

And now the challenge is sound, something you never get tired of doing.

I never get tired to find motivational quotes and retro pictures. I always steal some lovely and vintage feel-like pictures and save it all in my folders named, Dreamy. I put it all include the quotes. I ever make a scarp book for that quotes and printed some pictures that could make me really fall into a Dreamland. Everytime I got bored, that books really put me feel calm. oh, by the way, that scrap book I called it The Second Life.

Here some of the pictures and together with some quotes that really inspiring me in life and I'll tell a little bit how that saying can put color on me.

Everything in your life are reflection for the choice you have made
If you want a different result
then make a different choice

The most thing I can be proud of to myself is the choice I ever made to study across Laut China Selatan. Yup, I'm flying alone from Sabah to Shah Alam to study. I don't know how I'm become so brave to leave my family, my bestfriends, my lovely hometown and go getting some adventures.

Perhaps, it is because of a bitter-sweet monkey love? No.

I just want a different result.

If you're brave to say "Goodbye", life will reward you with a new "Hello"

It's inspiring me to leave something that I can't hold forever though I love that thing so much. 

Mans always change and so do the thing.

Don't be afraid to change, try new things and take risks
If you never spread your wings, you won't know how high you can fly.

An awe-inspiring quotes that burn my courageous to live lone, eat alone, sleep alone and all in alone.

This happened during my internship and I really took crazy-awesome risks.

Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful

Challenges are friends. You never be mature if you never found difficulties in life,

I do believe on that.

Loathe

Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only person struggle hardly to achieve something better in future. something that can be proud of. something that used to show others that I'm capable to do something.

something. something. something. somewhere.

Yup, I'm heading for Terrified Future. no, I should say Amazing Future. Now, that might sound exciting but, deep in the heart, I'm so scared. really. How would it be? there's so many questions swinging in my head. all are playing and laughing at me who has not start anything yet.

The days crawl so fast.

19, 20, 21, 22, 23.. am I still able to do something?

I should be brave. I should dare to leave. I should able to live alone. I'd done it once and I can make it again. Let the tears be friend, let the praying accompany the night and wash the souls, let the silent night be the peaceful place for me to stay calm. let it be. let it all.

I don't know why I'm still linger around here. perhaps, it is because my family?

Oh dear,
I'm weak. I'm hopeless. I'm lousy.

Am I completely useless? why when we need to hold the sky, we need to let other hands down? why? why?

I loathe you. I loathe you Self.

Ridiculous

Heart flutter?

This is ridiculous. 

Dearly

Dear future,

I'm scared.

It's horrible to think how would be my life in ahead

Ya Rabb,

I'm sorry.

really .

Crazy heart

Dear heart,

Why suddenly you remember about him?
Did he do something could break your heart again?
Why heart? Why?

Its been a year he left you behind
There's so many memories you have without him near side
He ever become your nightmare
But now you able to control yourself and even you able to control your dream at the night too when he haunted you

But why today you really miss him?
Read that words of farewell again and again and again
Words saying goodbye and really broken the heart
Why heart? Why you read that?

Stupid me.
Yup he still have a place in my heart
Even in a tiny place but could influence all parts of my body
This is terrible
Seriously.

People said time heals everything
I think one year is still not enough
I'm still waiting

I think I'm going crazy

Useless

Useless.
Yup, that is the word for today.
Who is useless?
Me.
That's right.

How useless I am when I still can't stand by my own self.
Useless thinking me who still cannot afford to leave alone
And I'm terribly useless thinking about myself who still not able contribute something in my life.

Oh dear..

Dear self,
Listen.
Please..
Do not forget that they are getting old
Do not forget you born not to live alone
And do not forget you need to realize other dreams rather than yours

Your dreams caring other needs right?
Then fulfill them all.

Wake up Vian.
Wake up.
Forgot all about looking for love
That's not your business
Thats Allah's plan
Just wait for it

By the way, I'm even not looking for it

Now,
Your mission is
Make them feel there's something in this life can be appreciate
Something they never regret.

Love them when they still exist
Love them even they gone
And love them till Jannah

They are one.
My family.
Thats right
NananGina's family.

Tired

I'm tired to chase on what the world wants.
It makes me abnormal.

Road not Taken

Salam readers

Its rainy outside and here i am write down something my blog in such a cold and empty room. Its been a long time i thought i'm not write anything with full of my heart in this such pretty shy blog. I'm quite busy right now. I have a lot of tasks and meeting and i'm really really desperate in looking for job. my life to become a worker seems to be start soon.

Furthermore, i lost my inspirational blogger. since the blogger got married, she make her blog privately. I really loves how she spread her dreams and life in his lovely diary. pictures that she took, paint that she had sketched, lovely plain english that she used, all of these make me feel so calm everytime i read it in the middle of night. everything seems to be still. but now, she just lost all of sudden. the last entry that i've read when she told that she already become wife for another man.

Now, i'm try to find the other bloggers who have same dreams with me. Unfortunately, it seems hard to find out.

I want to tell something too. maybe after all this entry, I might lost for a some of moment. I don't know but each time i try to lay down my hand on this lappy to write down on something, my moody goes away. I think, i think too much about how to live in this such scarier world ahead and it make my little brain stuck and my tiny heart unable to feel the sense of love, i guess.

Recently, everything seems to be chaos. even i don't know whether i have to back home for hari raya sooner or not. You see, until now, i'm not buy any ticket for me to fly to Sabah after all this semester because i just want to find job, job and job.

I'm upset will my self. really.

I really need some motivational, the inspiration but everyone seems make me so blurring and surely it makes me unable to stay in one way.

What do you think? which road i have to take? the happiness celebrating raya with family or happiness give them money?

I'm not materialistic anyway. but if i go home, i might miss the opportunity to work outside the cowboy town. i might stay there for a long time.

Let me tell you one secret. the truth is, after all this kind of miserable, actually i'm afraid to live independently. i'm afraid i can't afford to live alone and cry like a loner in empty house. can you feel it?

i'm losing my hope. i don't know what i suppose to do. really.

Everytime and everyday, i keep praying for Allah to make me strong to live in this alien place alone. i have family here but it does not change everything. i don't want to bother them and pretend that my life is okay but actually it was not.

I know He will ease everything for me like He ease everything when i've my practical training in other alien place and live alone in small house and unable to sleep tightly every night just because i'm afraid of thief that might come and no one will realize it. after all, i finish my intern safely without bother others except i'm requested my mom for some of money. i hope this will not happen again to me. let my family happy because i'm safe here. let me indemnify for everything that i've own from them - my family.

Please pray for me too. I have a lot of dreams that i've to reached before i'm 25. It have 2 years to go.

Hope, this decision will lead me to find my way, reach my point and make my family happy.

Because, everything i do, i do it for them.

Adios readers, we will me again sooner with different kind of life of story.

Hope it it kind of lovely and happy story.

Au Revoir
26 May 2014
Monday

Missing

There is a time when we are alone in tranquil room

While we listening to our favorite songs in such wonderful and windy evening

From out of nowhere

a strange feeling comes without sound like the wind blows the air

The feeling keeps remind us about the past

The face. the smile. the memories

We smile and it turn us to open way to Dream Land

For some period of time, after lost in the mist of dream

After gone through so many memories

Suddenly we realized, this is not what we wanted to

This is not what the heart wants

Then the tears wet the soft pillow

And let the blanket cover the body and weep alone

Cry because we can't do anything

Cry because we keep the feeling for a long moment

Cry because we feel missing on something

Cry because we miss someone

Miss on him

on him.

People said when we miss on someone all of sudden, 

it actually shows that the person miss us too. 

It is true?

Sometimes I wish

I'm still in the mind

Oh poor me

I thought I could end up the story

but actually I can't

He still in the story

Though his chapter was ended

but the story still go on

A story without him inside

My body keep push to walk

but the heart still look at the back

Hoping this is not the ending

Kekasih Abadi

Setiap kali ku bukakan mata
Hati tersentuh, kau hiasi dunia
Syukur kerna Dia Mendengar
Doa-doaku…..oh

Baru terasa nikmat percintaan
Indah dibuai beribu khayalan
Semua impian yang ku damba
Menjadi nyata….oh

[Chorus]
Tak perlulah lagi kau bermimpi
Kini kau hadir dalam sedar mencintai
untuk kekal sehidup semati

Tak perlulah kau memeluk angan
Kini kau ada erat didalam dakapan
Padamu setiaku berjanji
Kekasih Abadi

Jika ditakdirkan pergi bersama
Ambilah hembus nafas terakhirku
Agar tak merasa bagaimana
Hidup tanpamu …oh

Bersama kita cekal membina
Sebuah istana yang terindah
Disana kasih kita bersemadi

[Chorus]
Tak perlulah lagi kau bermimpi
Kini kau hadir dalam sedar mencintai
untuk kekal sehidup semati

Tak perlulah kau memeluk angan
Kini kau ada erat didalam dakapan
Padamu setiaku berjanji
Kekasih Abadi

Oh my,

I really really fall in love with this song

Like something stupid happen to me (blushing-blushing). :)

5.29 pagi

Wahai Adam Allah

Mungkin kau belum ku temui
tapi aku dapat rasakan
kau tidak jauh

Aku kini cuba memperbaiki diri
untuk menjadi yang lebih baik
dan aku mengharap
engkau juga sedang menyusun keperibadianmu
untuk masa depan
yang menuju ke Jannah Allah

Bila kita ketemu
bawalah pergi cintaku
kemana pun kau mahu
jadikan temanmu
temanmu yang paling kau cinta

Di sini pun aku begitu
terus menyintaimu
di dalam hatiku
Sampai waktu yang pertemukan kita nanti

Crazy of You

Are you listening to my heart?
Are you looking at my tears?
Only one in the world,
Just oneI need it to be you

Why do you keep running away from me?
Why do you keep getting far from me?
Stay by my side, hold my hand
If you love me

You drive me crazy
You make me cry
You’re close as if I can catch you
But when I do, 
you get far away like the wind

Love is what I do alone
Love only leaves tears
A crappy, foolish love

Can I hug you just once?

Can I say my last goodbye?

Don't forget the loving memories, the happy memories

Some day, when we meet again
Let’s not say goodbye
Words that my heart say, I love you
Words that my tears say, I’m sorry
No matter how much I pick them up and put them in
Words spill out

Pray for them

I'm scared
I'm scared if the history comes back
Comes to take a revenge and be monopolized
Comes to dominate and causing a war
Comes to realize the ungrateful people

"Melayu mudah lupa"
Yup, we forgot we're easily to forgot something
Maybe the incident make us open our eyes and thought

Cooperation and strength
That what we need now

Keep praying Malaysian
Hopefully what we expect is not true
Pray for their safety
for the dearly MH370

Hui Jia De You Huo

Salam readers

I'm gonna sharing one of film that I love most during my teenager life. Finally I know the title of the drama after I've been search for 3 hours. I love the story, the background song, the artist even not too very handsome but surely I love all about the drama.

The title of the drama is Hui Jia De You Huo or The Temptations to Go Home

You see the story is quite interesting. it is about a woman who called as a wife being betrayed by her own bestfriend who seduced her husband. the more worse is her husband like her bestfriend too and they planning try to kill the woman. by killing her, then both of them can be lived together happily forever.

The beginning of the story really really succeed makes me so emotional. I'm getting upset how they lie to the woman hiding their scandal life. the woman so innocent and this makes her husband and her bestfriend take advantage on her.

The woman finally realized about their secret affair but still not doing anything. she believe her husband and her bestfriend not stabbing her. even she saw in her own eyes about their happy life together but still optimism. she crying alone, trying to be strong, be devoted wife to her husband and even she still be nice to her bestfriend.

I still remember when she saw her husband and her bestfriend in love happily, she just hide and run. her leg being burned by the hot charcoal during her escaping just after she saw the scene of love of betrayer husband and her bestfriend. because of that she had miscarriage.

The husband can't wait for any longer to live with his mistress and finally he try to kill his wife by trying to drown her. He thought his wife is death. Yupp, she died but it was the innocent woman. she rebirth. she take for a revenge.

The revenge makes her strong. she changed her name, cut her hair, be smart and succeed woman, she learn how to be the gorgeous woman. she changed everything. from the innocent and dutiful housewife to determined modern and successful woman.



"How would I live my life, if I were to start again a different identity?"



Finally, on night party, she appear with sparkling dress and she saw her ex husband with her betrayer bestfriend shocked look at her but she pretended not see them. How's I like this scene because I can see her husband stunned looks his wife who innocent before become such as glamorous woman. but the woman pretend that she does not know them. really really makes me feel this is the time for you to make them have a deep regret.

She succeeded makes their household crushed. she seduced her ex husband and just used him. it same how her bestfriend do to her before. they deserved for that.

Finally, she know what her doing was wrong because the forgiveness is more better than continuous revenge. she stopped and lived happily with the one who she loved. she had another man. the more good man.

Overall the story makes me feel, as a wife we need to defend our rights. be attractive. be glamorous. and make the husband realize that he will feel sorry for what he had done. that's why we need to have career in life. I believe on that.

By then, I leave you with the background song.

Going somewhere at nowhere

You see, I'm bad in saying goodbye. it is not my major. I don't know what I suppose to do. should I cry? laugh or just make the pokerfaced without feel anything?

Saying goodbye seems the hardest moment to face..

Sometimes it could be better if others not know the time to leave. the time where I need to leave everybody and walk away into my own journey. journey full of independence and it was scary.

This makes me so terrible.

I don't want to leave

I don't want to say goodbye

I hate farewell

I wish I can bring them along

I wish I can tell them to follow my journey

I wish we can run together

Can I just go off?

Leave my two lil evils,

Leave my family,

Leave my precious time with them

the time crawl so fast. he envy me

Oh dear, I feel my tiny heart turn to horrible feeling

miserable, mournful, bleak

Dear Allah,

I'm sorry for all things that I've done

This could be a way to wash my sins

and to make me strong, right?

Would you to protect them when I'm gone? please

Keep them in safe and happy

I'm sorry 

I'm really sorry

forgive me please ya Rabb..

forgive me..

Tidak suka

Perasaan itu..
Perasaan yang sangat menyakitkan
merisaukan
menakutkan

Aku tidak suka perasaan itu
Tidak suka

Tidak ku suka rasa itu
Rasa TIDAK SEDAP HATI
Rasa yang muncul di jam-jam malam membuta
perkara yang terlintas cuma satu

Keluarga..
Semoga mereka baik sahaja.
Aku mengharap.
sangat.

Dear flower

I think I fall in a deep hole right now

I slipped and there's no rope to pull me up

Dear flower,

please save me

I think I fall too much

I'm going fall to the hole of love 

save me please before I get hurt

The meaning of Vivianne Zala

Salam readers

Today I'll talk about the meaning of my blog's name. My entry today is actually the idea I took from one blogger. she called this as her challenges to write her entry. and now I take it as my challenges too, the meaning of Vivianne Zala

My blog, Vivianne Zala is derived from my own name, Vivian. yup, that is my name. I know it's weird since I'm a muslim and my name seems I'm not but He has put my name that way in Luf Mahfuz. He is the one who give the idea to my parents and give the name to me and I'll use it until the end of my day.

Zala is not my sir name but actually it was name of cartoon. ever seen Gundam Seed Mobile Destiny? I love the cartoon so much as I can stand in hungry just to watch the cartoon because my mom does not like we eat in front of tv but I don't mind as long as I'm not miss even one minute of the cartoon's story.

Zala is the name of Athrun Zala. I fall in love with his character. he is soooo handsome man. seriously. I like his calm personality and he is benevolent individual. his mobile suits are Aegis and Justice Gundam. even in the middle of battle, he can be so charming and romantic. they way he hugs his beloved one, Stella Allster, that is the way I love him. unfortunately, his beloved died because she is from enemy side. later, Athrun with Cagalli Yula Atha. how i wish my name be there for him, Vivianne. (I'm in a deep dream)

Stella Allster.
She is sweet and gentle girl

Cagalli Yula Atha.
Strong willed and determined girl

Kiss me too. :)

At first I create this blog at the end of 2009, I guess. I make it as my diary. but I have deleted all the post I make before. even the small thing I posted in on my blog. how childish I am on that time. huhu.

Later on, I only put the important things on my blog. my journey with my friends. what we have done, what we have go through and I did entry for my beloved one too. it was for a long time ago because our relationship are stop in the middle of the road. I left.

I start using English in my blog since my English lecture want we have blog as an assignment. this is my assignment blog. later on, I make it as my second blog. actually, I intended to delete my blog and use the assignment blog as my main medium to spread my adventures, unfortunately, my heart still in this chronicle blog.

In Vivianne Zala, mostly the pictures I took from Devianart. I just love the way they took their pictures and it inspired me a lot. there are some pictures really makes me feel so calm. that's why all pictures I just take from there.

I love taking picture too. here are some pictures taken and edit by me.

Took when I'm packing my stuff before I'm back to Sabah

Picture during Hari Raya Aidiladha. I'm alone that day and I just sleep and eat on my pretty bed

And now, my blog is about dream. A story of a small and thin girl with underweight BMI named Vivianne Zala. her feeling, her dream, her life story, she throw all in this blog. I have tumblr too. you may read about me in here. my facebook? I'm the one who likely to having friends in fantasy world where we can share the dream without chatting or talking about each other.

Once again, thanks because you've spend your time to read my entry for today. good night people. have a pleasure dream

10.31 pm

Dear day,

I thought you will be hard today fortunately not

I'm very grateful to Him

with His permission I met a lot of friendly people

they are so sweet

Hope my journey in the next day will be the best ever that I have

The Fox Rain

I still don’t understand love
So I can’t get any closer
But why does my foolish heart keep pounding?
I’m haunted by you again and again
I just can’t get away

This hopeless love
Hurts my heart so much
Going from day to night
You’re all I think about
Being so pitiful and silly

What should I do?
The heart follows love
What am I going to do?

This hopeless love
Hurts my heart so much
Going from day to night
You’re all I think about
Being so pitiful and silly

What should I do?

The day when my pain fades away
Will that day ever come?
Being so pitiful and silly

What can I do after all?

The moonlight is so beautiful
I just can’t get away
Let me lie down by your side for a moment
A moment, just a moment

Fox Rain by Lee Sun Hee

I heard this song from korean drama, My Girlfriend is Gumiho. I fallen flat in love with the movie and this song too. really portray what my heart wishing to said to..

the dust day

 

It's a very beautiful dreaming morning today. Although I'm alone in my tiny room but it just last for few hours, I feel the loner. but I'm glad that I walked on the wet morning grass this morning to the exam venue.

and here I'm glad to say i'm finished my part 5 degree in UiTM Shah Alam. i never thought i can go this further as my mind said stay as a degree student is the most tiring and hard day. sooner, i'm having my practical in Kota Kinabalu. hopefully, my experience there is more valuable. 

My Monday

What are beautiful day today. I woke up earlier than before, freshen myself up and then open my windows and looks how the bright the sunshine are. I feel like I live in a small tranquil room. How peaceful my mind lives alone. Yesterday was my cloudy day as my roommates left me but today I can prove the feeling is only for temporary. It seems I’m easily to become placid indeed.

And now I’m sitting on my green bed, listening to Kim Soo Hyun’s song Dreaming with a cup of coffee next to me and write an entry in my pretty blog. Hopes today will be the greatest ever day that I have.

At this moment, how I wish as soon as I wake up, I open my windows and see a thousand of daisies in front of me. My dress keep freely flying as the breezy air come and I can smell the air was filled with the smell of flowers. I could see the figure coming towards me. How I wish it can be true someday.

Back to the reality, I’ve my last paper exam soon. lets pray for the colorful result.

The moment of goodbye

i hate my self when i can't just let someone left me behind. i know everybody doesn't like the saying goodbye and me either. but it is different. although i just spend a few time with her or him, but when i know there will meet the end of story, i feel sorrow. i'm begin to be a miserable girl.

i think i have to prepare myself. i've to remind that every each Hello, there will be a moment of goodbye. hope it can bear it in my mind.

I saw the love

Sometimes I wish I can turn back the time. turn in the moment when i do not know what the love means. the time as my feeling still waiting for the real prince and holds my hands and kiss it. the prince who fly over from the other world and just see me through the windows just like a stalker. how i wish Peter Pan would be my prince on that time.

and now, yup i'm still waiting but i'm waiting for someone who is deserve. who is could bring me in journey to become the "halal" and guide me towards the jannah. who i can fully depend to, smile, laughing, sharing, and holding hands with the "inai" on the hands. 

i believe the story love Allah makes for me is the romantic story. He wants me to meet the wrong person before i can live with the right person. and now, what i have to do is be a well behaved girl,take care of my tiny heart and create a good relationship with Him. surely He will see me :)

My new blog face

Salam readers..

Its been a long time i'm not decorate my blog. i think its been since i'm stayed in Peninsular. I just make it as simple as i can with the white color as a background but i try to make it colorful by putting some of pictures instead.

My blog on 2011. that is on April. see that date.

full of color and it seems fully chaos.

with a pictures took by my friend, Tika and the entry, fuhhh, the touching one.

and yet the entry is still exist..

Still in the same year but made in different month.

surely i'm active to make my blog pretty but that is for a long time ago

the time when i'm pretty childish and have a lot of free time to spend to make this blog pretty as well.

and now as what you can see its only white

white. white and white

i just want to create harmonious feeling with some vintage imaginary.. 

hopes you like it

together we across my dream 

see my adventure

in the voyage of the life journey

in this blog

In Vivianne Zala's blog..

One less lonely girl

Source : Devianart

By : L I T T L E P H O T O

How the pictures inspired me to do something

I love music very much. i guess it become a part of my life

it can change my mood, seriously

from gloom to bloom

from dreary to glee

oh dear, 

i fall in love today

i listen to my love song and suddenly..

the unexpected calling turn me into pink reddish face girl

his name appeared on my screen phone and I froze to death

oh my, hope the old feeling not to appear now

my heart in the progress to become pure

but its gonna be one less lonely girl :)

Dear 2014

My days seems so new to me

I learn to play with my own stuff and just think the world only live for me

the animal that I can't touch have change me into cat lover

 and my exam still not finish yet and I need to read a lot

but I likely to choose to read  my old diary life rather than the books of future

at the end here I am staring at the window and wishing Happy New Year to everybody

2013
The year that full of stories
full of memories
and full of the best lessons

I ended up my year with a simple smile
with the happiness in my tidy heart
and a little "superman" in my soul

This year had change me a lot
turn me into a sensitive woman
hot-tempered
impatient
a little harsh 
and I've a got a good immune from the "love illness"

I tried my best to be the best to show that I can live in the strange and this alien place. to be the "alien" person in here is not an easy thought but I cross it as the time goes by. the time swift so fast and I'm seems not have opportunity to grab the memories. I spend my life with hanging out with my pals but I forget the dreamy place that I want to go. 

the time is keep walking and I'm stop in the middle of the road waiting for someone to grab me and take me into their journey. why I need to wait? why? I suppose to ask this question a long time ago. 2014, hope the year become the year as I could walk to find them. even though it full of sacrifice but I know Allah always be there for me. as long as I not forget about Him, surely He puts me on His way. save me my Rabbi.

Hope the the year 2014 is full of happiness stories. full of good memories. and as a year where I can be the girl who cam save the world. and save myself too. by then, Happy New Year everybody :)